Kids and Social Media: Why 13 Is the Minimum and What to Watch For

Most social media platforms require users to be at least 13, yet surveys suggest many younger children use them anyway. Parents are often unsure whether the age limit is a safety rule, a legal technicality, or both. Here is what the minimum age actually means, what major health bodies said in 2023, and how to support a child who is starting out.

Where does "13" come from?

In the United States, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) requires online services to obtain verifiable parental consent before collecting personal information from children under 13. Rather than build systems for that consent, most social platforms simply set 13 as their minimum age in their terms of service. In other words, the number is mainly about data collection, not a judgment that 13 is the right age to start.

What the 2023 advisories said

In 2023 two major advisories addressed social media and young people.

• The U.S. Surgeon General said there was not enough evidence to conclude that social media is sufficiently safe for children and adolescents. The advisory noted that up to 95% of 13 to 17-year-olds report using social media and nearly 40% of 8 to 12-year-olds do too, despite age limits. It cited research that adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• The American Psychological Association said social media is not inherently beneficial or harmful to young people, and that effects depend on what they do online, their personal strengths and vulnerabilities, and their circumstances. It recommended that adolescents be trained in social media literacy and that use be monitored more closely in early adolescence.

Both advisories also acknowledged real benefits, especially for young people who find community, support or creative outlets online that they lack offline.

The specific risks worth understanding

• Sleep loss: late-night scrolling and notifications are one of the most consistent findings in the research.
• Social comparison: edited images and highlight reels can affect body image and self-esteem, particularly for early adolescents.
• Design that maximizes time: infinite scroll, autoplay, streaks and notifications are built to keep users on the app.
• Contact with strangers: public profiles and direct messages expose children to people they do not know.
• Harmful content and cyberbullying: including content about self-harm, eating disorders or violence.

Signs that social media use is becoming a problem

• Using it late at night or waking up to check it.
• Strong distress or anger when unable to access it.
• Dropping activities, friendships or schoolwork they used to enjoy.
• Mood changes after time online, or secrecy about what they are doing.
• Talking negatively about their appearance after scrolling.

If you notice persistent changes in mood, sleep or behavior, talk to your child's doctor. These signs can have many causes, and a professional can help work out what is going on.

Practical steps when your child starts

1. Start with one platform rather than several at once.
2. Set the account to private and go through the privacy settings together.
3. Turn off notifications for non-essential apps, especially at night.
4. Keep phones out of bedrooms overnight.
5. Talk about the feed. Ask what they see, who they follow and how it makes them feel. Teach them that algorithms show more of whatever they linger on.
6. Agree what to do if something goes wrong, and make clear they will not automatically lose the phone for telling you.
7. Model it. Children notice how adults use their own phones.

Common questions

Is it illegal for my 11-year-old to have a social media account?

It is not illegal for the child, but it usually breaks the platform's terms of service, and the account may be removed. More importantly, platforms' safety features for teens assume users are at least 13.

How much social media time is too much?

There is no official limit. The Surgeon General's advisory highlighted research linking more than three hours a day to higher risk of depression and anxiety symptoms. Protecting sleep and offline activities is a sensible priority.